Oh Baby!!!

It's official. We're registered! Daddy and I met at Babies R Us after work Monday to get registered. Armed with a check list of baby essentials and a stun gun (kidding, it was a sku scanner) daddy and I set off through a maze of over priced tiny human things. Step one - Give daddy the stun gun. Step two - wander up and down Every. Single. Isle. Seriously. Your dad's adorable. Let's just get that out of the way right now. I'm pretty sure he only picked pink things. And that tea pot your gonna need for all the tea parties he's got planned. And a dolly, and a teddy, and binkies and bottles. I kid you not little lady, 17 pages of stuff! Who knew a baby would need so much? Love you!

Hi Baby Girl! Yep, that's right, daddy and I found out your gender last week! And ever since, daddy has held fast to the idea that we will be hosting tea parties for the rest of forever. So, we don't have a cool untrasound photo to offer up as proof of your gender, but because I'm 35 (the doctor's say "advanced maternal age") I qualified to have genetic testing done. Not only did the testing tell us we would he welcoming a sweet little baby girl in a few months, it also let us know that you are perfectly perfect in every way! You have no idea how happy it made us to know your gender! My dear friends Marcie and Jessica came over and helped me paint your room a gorgeous shade of grey and I hung teal and pink paint chips on the wall, the pink one had a heart in it! You now have pink and white striped curtains, a bookshelf with lots of books and pink and teal storage bins! Can't want to fill your closet with cute little girl clothes!

Ok, my little bean. I thought we agreed you wouldn't make me puke? Maybe it was a one sided conversation, but I took your silence as agreement. Looks like you broke your end of the deal little one. So how about for next time we work on your timing, mmmkay? Don't wait till mommy's buck nakid in the shower with face wash in her eyes to say "Hmmmm, now would be a fun time to puke!". It so wasn't a fun time. Sorry kid. When you're older, you try vomiting with soap in your eyes. Or don't. I'll save you the hassle and tell you right now it was miserably painful. Then as I'm wiping soap from my eyes round 2 struck. This time I was able to yank the shower door open and aim in the general direction of the toilet. I hit the floor. They say the third time's a charm. If you were just trying to help me get some target practice in, thanks. I actually made it in the toilet the third time. I guess this marks the end of my 25 year vomiting dry spell! Love, ...

Dear Baby, Yesterday daddy and I went to our very first doctor's appointment to find out that even after my scary dream, you really are real! It was the funniest and most beautiful doctor's appointment I've ever had. It started with a pap inspection. Generally these are not the most fun or enjoyable. But because the nurse accidentally unplugged the lamp, the doctor asked daddy to bring over his cell phone and turn on the flashlight! So here I am legs splayed open, paper blanket drapped over my legs and all I can see is the tops of thier heads,so I'm envisioning two miners with mining hats and head lamps peering into a dark tunnel! And let me tell you. I've never laughed so hard at a pap! Next was the ultrasound. Doctor Woods dimmed the lights and turned on the machine. Looked around for a few seconds and then, miracle of miracles, there you were in all your gummy bear shaped glory. You are the most beautiful and precious thing I've ever laid eyes on. And then...

I want to use this blog as a way to keep track of my thoughts and feelings throughout my pregnancy. Even if those thoughts and feelings flat out terrify me. Some things are difficult to express in words, out loud, to others. But here. Here I think I can at least get the jyst of things out. Last night I had the worst dream imaginable. Matt and I had gone in to our 1st appointment and for whatever reason, the doctor put me under for the ultrasound. When I woke up from the ultrasound the doctor simply told me "there's no baby" and then left the room. I then awoke for real. In a cold sweat and shaking. After years of trying and having false pregnancies where I wouldn't have a period for 4 months but all tests showed negative, this is a real fear of mine! I know deep down I really am pregnant. Books and aps and Google all say that if the test is positive, then there's HCG in your system and a baby on the way. But man. I can not wait till 3pm today for our real, fir...